Saturday, November 19, 2011

Shades of Gray

There is a place where the light meets the dark. Just between the two there is a small transition that lay in gray. It that place we lose ourselves. North becomes South and East becomes West. Direction is all but evident. For some of us we go there intentionally. Over and over again we find comfort there in the familiarity of uncertainty. A great deal are actually born into it and thus becomes the only world we know. Time spent there is dependent on the willingness to step either into the light or the other way into the peril.
Lately I have found myself resting there. At times in different seasons we pass from light to dark not noticing the gray. Looking for validation or meaning externally requires me to give my power away. We can search for approval endlessly in the many forms. In the hands of others. Recognition from work. Success in the eyes of our neighbors. A nod from a pleased father. All of these could be important but its when it becomes vital in order to approve of ourselves, that's when the gray crosses over to dark. Awareness of the transition is where the power begins to be taken back. With my life rapidly approaching halfway being over I would like to begin keeping my power to do with as I see fit. Its only when the result is continually unfavorable do I seem to want to make a change. There is value in the struggle.